I've been struggling with a lot of things about my future. As in what college I want to go to, what profession I want to be in, where I want to live, if I want to move out of the house. It's all just been so confusing and I'm getting very scared about it. I don't know what to do first and what I should do first.

Well I need to start making a plan about what I need to do first. I definitely need to sign up for the fafsa and to sign up to take the sats.

Omg my high school days are almost up and that's really making me nervous. I just hope everything turns out alright.

So this week we had the big inspection for jrotc. as being an s-1 assistant, i had to stay the whole day. and overall we did a spectacular job. we got honor unit with distinction :D i'm very proud of the staff and the battalion as a whole. hopefully next year will be a great year :)

as for me being in jrotc next year, i have decided i'm going to do it. i want to be the s-1 next year and i cannot wait to see how good i can be. i really do believe i can be a good s-1 like sandy is this year.

with all that being said, although jrotc has been a pain the ass, i have learn a lot in the program and it's made me grow as a person.

so i finally did the otp graphics i was hoping to do and i'm very proud of them :) i need to start making more for a portfolio, i really want to impress some colleges with my skills in photoshop. i'll just apply to apply i guess. i want to see if i'm even eligible to get into a college like the california college of the arts.

well now that i'm almost a senior, i need to start getting my priorities straight and what i want to do as a career. it's really hard for me to decide but i hope i can decide that soon.

what i'm also planning to do is to analyze movies, or even make screenplays. to me, that sounds really satisfying and promising.

 I seriously cannot believe i finished my history video project within 3 days. i mean that has to be an achievement. i honestly should get a award for all my hard work. i think for a video that was done in 3 days, it's a pretty good ass video. i should at least be getting a c for that shit. i just hope she doesn't show the video in class, because that would fuckin suck balls.

Well the finals are all done and over with. i think i did a great job on all of them and i tried my hardest to get a good grade on them. i think i did the best on my english final, probably because it was such an easy test. the hardest was definitely math and history. they were both very challenging, but nonetheless i gave it my all.

the new quarter and semester starts on monday. i'm excited yet it doesn't really matter because it's only the third quarter and for me the third quarter isn't a huge quarter.

so on to a non-school related topic, mockingjay is such a depressing book!! why did finnick have to die?!?!?! he's my favorite character!! pourquoi?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? but other than that depressing news, i'm really excited to see how the ending turns out. i have about 4 or 5 chapters left to read. so yeah i'm pretty juiced about finishing it.

i finally have ideas for graphics to do on photoshop. but the thing is, i'm so picky about which celebrity pictures i should use. ugh dfihbrfgyrf this is always my problem. darn my attempts to be perfect. i really should stop that.

So the first day of the finals was a good one. The film essays were a little bit of a drag, but the multiple choice questions were really easy. Overall good final. Then the aerobics final was better than I thought. We just took our pulse rate after every activity, very easy I must admit. It was another great final as well.

Tomorrow I have the math and history final. Those are the finals I'm dreading the most. I finished my history study guide so that made me very happy. But I didn't finish my math one yet, but I'm getting there. I just hope both finals go well :) I love getting off at 12:35 too :3

I've decided to actually do the video project for history. But I'm not going to do the storyboard, just the script and video. It's a really bad video and I absolutely think it's a great video done in the last minute. I have 1 minute down, so that's great. I still need to talk about the movies, and other new technologies.

I just hope this week is all over soon :D

 Well today was just so.....bizarre. I woke up and found out I had to go to church. Now don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I'm honestly not too big on church. It's boring, I yawn throughout the whole thing, and I just feel like sleeping. And I'm not a religious type of person so you can sympathize with me can't you? But anyways after church we went to the buffet and I had my typical awesome and delicious meal. But I feel like the family that sat at the table diagonal from us kept looking at us. It just rubbed me the wrong way I don't even know. Then after the buffet we just went home. BORING FAMILY OUTING.

I missed the Real Madrid game but I'm so freakin sad that they tied. Now they're 4 points behind Barcelona I believe. Anyways I'm very depressed about that news. Also the Lakers lost to the Clippers today by like 7 or some shit like that. WTH. It's bizarre because last Sunday both Real Madrid and the Lakers played great but this week it's just a slump.

The Golden Globe Awards were on tonight. I'm surprised I watched the whole coverage. I'm glad that Colin Firth and Natalie Portman won Best Actor and Actress. But I was disappointed when Inception didn't win anything. Totally snubbed ya know. I was really hoping they'd win Best Picture. Everyone was pissed that Glee won best comedy tv show but I was just like YAY! Also very happy that Robert De Niro won the Cecil B. DeMille Award. GO HIM. He's an amazing actor, I love all of his movies. 

Well that was my day. Half of it was bleh and the other half was just so :(
Like the title says, I can't always get what I want.

My family and I finally found the dvd store Rasputin! They have really good prices on cds and dvds. So far we got Silence of the Lambs, American Beauty, and Elite Squad on dvd. I'm very excited to watch Elite Squad since it's a Brazilian movie. I'm starting to take an interest in international films. I like to know other countries' taste in movie making. So far my favorite foreign movie is Amelie, a wonderful French film. I'm just very glad that I'm in a film studies class at my school. The teacher is great, the movies are great, and I'm always anxious to know what the next movie unit we're going to focus on. But the final exam for the class seems really intense, but I'm determined to pass it.

Mockingjay, the final book in the Hunger Games Series, is a really great book so far. If I compare it to the last two books, it's not as good because well things seem much more dark and depressing in this book. I mean the war between the Capitol and the rebels is getting intense and it's such a page turner. I'm extremely curious to know how the ending turns out.

Finals start next week, I have a three day weekend. I have to start on my history video project, do the algebra 2 study guide, u.s. history study guide, film studies study guide, study for the jrotc inspection, etc. Omg this is such an intense part of the year I cannot wait to get over the hump.

It's always difficult for me to find inspiration for anything lately. For writing, photoshop edits, photography, etc. I need to find a new outlet. Music isn't helping. I think I should just look at a ton of graphics on flickr or something. All of the graphics I'm seeing lately look the same and I want to do something that's different and I'm satisfied by the final product. I should sketch out what I want to see in my graphics. That usually works out well for me.

Now for writing, I haven't really written a story I was proud of. I always started a story but never finished or even had the energy to finish. I'm always disappointed at how it turns out.

Basically, I need inspiration.

 Well the 1st semester finals is coming up soon. I think I'm most worried about Algebra and English. We don't really learn anything in English so I don't know what's up my teacher's sleeves. I still need to get started on that video project. I know it's worth 5% but it's such a crappy project I don't even want to do well on it, ya know? So I think I'm just going to do a real crappy last minute job on it. Yup that's officially the plan now. I'm now trying to really focus on the jrotc inspection that's coming up on the 25th. I have to know so much information that's pretty much useless to my life. But since I don't want to look stupid, I'm gonna go ahead and attempt to do a great job. This month is just a truck load of stress and a bunch of deadlines.

 So tumblr is down and it's making me extremely sad. I haven't realized how much I rely on that site. It's so sad haha. But I'm glad I made a bunch of bracelets for people this weekend. That's a feat right there. I just need to find a way to send it to Weina and Hajar. Wowee that's gonna be difficult. Ugh I should really be on here blogging more often. It's like I have this account for nothing. Mine as well be on it and stuff. Guess I'll make graphics for the hell of it and post them on here. Yup I think I just might do that......

WOW! The last time I updated this blog was in May of this year. Well now it's October and I have changed a lot. I am not into graphic designing and web designing anymore. I'm really into writing. And I also found a love for soccer. A deep love for it. I also found out from doing my scoring project for film studies that it's a really cool thing and I wouldn't mind trying to do it as a career. But what I really want to be in the future is a sports journalist. That sounds like a very interesting career. Okay I think I'm about done with this post.